Surviving the CTA

If you've used Chicago public transportation lately, you'll know that they periodically make announcements along the lines of "Please do not put your bags on the seat next to you, so that others may sit down." Well, why else do they think people put their bags on the seat? But that's fine - people should take priority over bags. But what I don't understand is why the CTA can't also announce, "If you sit next to someone, please make reasonable efforts to avoid touching him or her. Most people don't like being touched by unattractive or same-sex strangers." Because, clearly, a lot of people don't know that.

I am not a small person. So, riding public transportation can be uncomfortable. I'm not obese - not skinny, either - but my size is mostly from having lifted weights for many years. In any event, I do my best to avoid encroaching on the other half of the seat. But when I take a window seat, quite often the guy who sits next to me will lean up against me, arm to arm or leg to leg. And, unfortunately, there's no simple or graceful way to say, "Please stop touching me. What the fuck is your problem, you freak?" And then, when I try to scrunch deeper into the window, usually the other person moves right with me, like my pressing up against the window somehow created an irresistible vacuum.

For years, I tried to be a good sport about it, sitting in window seats so that no one would have to ask to get around me. Sometimes I would keep bags on my lap, strategically placed to prevent people from putting their leg against mine. But, after one person too many sat too close, I realized I would have to become an asshole to get the personal space everyone should have. I starting sitting in aisle seats. That fixed everything.

I would really rather not have anyone sit next to me at all. And, most people will take a vacant aisle seat rather than ask to get around me to take the window seat. I do understand buses are public and will let you through to the window seat, no problem. I'd just rather sit alone. Second, taking an aisle seat prevents someone who doesn't understand personal space from pressing up against me the whole ride - I can always slide over until only half my ass is still on the seat. Finally, when it's time for me to get off the bus, I don't have to get your attention and cooperation and move past you to do it. Nothing personal, you're probably a perfectly nice person. I just would rather not interact with you, let alone rub my ass or crotch against you if you're unable or unwilling to stand up to let me out.

Unless, you know, you're hot.